i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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