I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
This baby is an asshole
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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