It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
