Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
