garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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