I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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