Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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