I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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