i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
