I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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