windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
