Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Randomize
