no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
