honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
