hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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