you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
