What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
