Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
