I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
