The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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