no, he came in my armpit
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
