i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
