I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
