I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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