OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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