He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
