If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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