Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
