Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
