she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
