Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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