Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
