Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
