Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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