i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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