Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
