bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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