But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
