hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
