and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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