people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
