a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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