I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
