Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
