He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
