We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
