remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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