Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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