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Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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