Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
